The 2017 April Fools Round Up
Hello friends, it’s me again, your friendly neighbourhood joke-monger. Once again, it’s that magical time of the year, when Trump is almost kind of right about fake news and everybody else on social media unites in their hate (for Trump or for April Fool’s? Take your pick). And once again, for your reading pleasure, I have assembled an array of the finest video game-related japes and jests, each more giggle-inducing than the last!
Well, in my opinion, at least.
Opinions are funny things – everybody has at least one and they came in a variety of shapes and sizes. And if there’s one thing people like to do with their opinions, it’s share them. Most of the time this is warm and welcome; a conversation with a friend or a thought-provoking op-ed. Other times they’re less desirable – there’s a reason Google autocompletes “never” with “read the comments”.
This is the third April Fools article I’ve written for Player2 and each time I submit one I wonder if this will be the year the editor tells me I’ve finally gone one naff joke too far (I’ve always had a soft spot for the very silly). Down Underworld? Pinky Swears? I didn’t come up with them, but I did choose to write about them. For jokes, like opinions, should be shared – and who better to share it with than with friends?
I hope you enjoy these April Fools offerings as much as I did – and if you would like to leave a comment, I promise I will read it.
The GeForce GTX G-Assist
Starting us off this year are Nvidia with the latest in gaming technology: the G-Assist. This unassuming little USB stick promises to be an innovation for artificial intelligence in gaming. Forget the old days, when you had to stop gaming momentarily to open your next bag of Doritos or poop in a sock (hopefully not at the same time), the G-Assist offers a range of customisable options and features that mean you’ll never have to type the letters A, F and K, in that order, again.
On a similar note, Turtle Beach have brought out their own gaming accessory, the F-Bag. Now you, too, can look as majestic as the horse, without even having to forfeit your consecutive game bonus in Overwatch.
Battlefield 1’s Talking Unicorns
Did I mention majestic horses? Well forget that, because UNICORNS.
Some would argue that unicorns have gone the way of pirates and ninjas and are now simply shorthand for something that is stale or unfunny. But those people would be wrong. If only more games had magically fabulous unicorns neighing in posh, elite tones, the world would be a better place. After all, horses are so drab, aren’t they?
Bayonetta has been a big smash in our household and now she’s back – as pixelart! This isn’t the first time Bayonetta has donned the 8-bit mantle (see the Platinum Games 404 page), but it is the first time the previously browser-based game has been available on Steam. And legend has it that buried deep within the game’s puzzles is a link to a countdown page. Whatever could it mean?
GTA: The AMC Series
Continuing the grand tradition of pitching games/products/etc as a joke and everybody wishing it were anything but, comes IGN’s offering of a TV series based on everybody’s favourite game that was banned by Target. With a Breaking Bad-style trailer that is chock-full of GTA references, this really does seem like a match made in heaven. And goodness knows a character like Trevor would have a story or two to tell…
Rocket League Ranks Update
In any other context, I would wonder how on earth a person could think any vegetable outranks the potato, but this isn’t a scale of deliciousness. Rocket League have updated their ranking system from boring old precious metals to tantalising foodstuffs. Gone are Bronze, Silver and Gold ranks and in their place are hearty Potatoes, esteemed Radishes and Grand Eggplants. Check out all the new ranks here and be sure to read the descriptions – the puns are strong with this one.
The Witcher Hot Tub Geralt Figurine
Frankly, I’m not even sure why this is an April Fool’s joke. I would buy this in a heartbeat. Exhibit A: April Fool’s Day may have come and gone, but it’ll always be February in my house.
See you next year!?!?!?!
You can read Stevie’s previous April Fool’s round-ups below: